Twenty nine months have passed since I separated from my husband. My marriage resulting in failure, although not surprising, its ending was abrupt to say the least. The experience was nothing short of quite upsetting, very messy and contained enough drama that would hit the charts of a Hollywood blockbuster. To this day, we have not set finalized all the details of the divorce, much still remains in limbo, however its completion is very very near. But, more importantly though this tedious experience of waiting I have become acutely aware that my mindset, my desires and my needs, if expressed clearly with gratitude are presented by the universe, with the utmost expediency.
Last Saturday, I reached a day of utmost sadness all around feeling 'in limbo', going through the motions of my life, even though a very fun life, free of most worries and full of everything I could want (except being divorced). Being in the middle of divorce feels like I am stuck between a life I no longer have (or want), intermittent bickering with an uncooperative ex and life where i know i have moved on from the paperwork and officially can 'start life again'. A big part of me feels like most things are on 'pause' and feels I cannot live life as I want it and dream it. I found myself plopped on the grass in the middle of my regular Saturday afternoon run in tears asking the universe for a sign that my divorce is nearing its closure and my desires are granted. My mind reflected on more than two years of bickering with my ex and responding to the attacks, and making my own counter attacks. I enjoyed being as difficult as possible in the divorce process. I reflected on the Jim Carrey movie, Bruce Almighty; a TV anchor experiencing difficulties succeeding in his life career. He, was driving in the rain asking God for a sign... a sign God was watching over him, listening to his desires; even though the signs were present, Carrey was too busy being upset, unclear of his desired outcome, he was not seeing the many warning signs and signs offering help. As a result, he drove off the road crashing his vehicle.
Driving Sunday afternoon, the need to contact my ex to communicate productively, fairly and kindly (regarding parenting schedules, travel and other matters) hit me. It is like a message came through to me via an old school tin can and string phone set up. Without hesitation, fear or ill feelings, which was totally uncharacteristic, Until this point, thinking of him, talking to him, texting / emailing him made me feel ill. I called him and left a message. Shortly after, he responded and we arranged to meet that afternoon. Most all of what I wished to talk about - we covered and worked through - both of us were satisfied with the result. When we met, I didn't feel sick, scared or shaky as usual. I felt strong, confident and very clear. This meeting, how it happened, how it went and the outcome was exactly what i asked for, and exactly how I asked for it to go. Without doubt, it was that higher power (called differently by each of us) listening to my previous days' requests, who suggested (put the idea in my head) I contact my ex, provided me the strength I never had in this divorce process) and cleared the air for both of us to work together kindly for the best outcome for both of us.
Between Sunday evening and Monday afternoon (within 24 hours of my requests), four unrelated people, in four different conversation contexts brought up on their own accord, 'well, you are almost done your divorce now, seems like it will be any day, it will be great to get on with your life'. None of these people were privy to the previous days' upset and frustration with the timeline of this divorce. And, none of these people made these statements in response to any complaint or mention of my divorce.
Undoubtedly, the emotion and desire I put into my request and need to attain my desires was felt by my Angels, or higher power, and I was shown signs (of a divorce nearing completion), given strength and clarity in my desired outcome. I am certain, had I not expended such raw and strong emotion into my desires and needs, I would have not received the message, mention and feeling from my ex he too is ready to work together with respect and cohesion. And, I would not have had 4 people tell me, divorce completion is very very near.
The message is this: Put forth all of your true emotion in identifying your desired outcome and use that same emotion to be aware of the messages your request has been acknowledged and see the outcome happening just as it is identified. And, see the result. You WILL see the result. The results you want.
So long icky divorce process.
Design Your Life